Transactional Analysis and Self-Help *
Introducing Transactional Analysis (TA) & Ego States
TA is a theory and approach to psychotherapy/counselling developed by the Canadian psychoanalyst and psychiatrist Eric Berne. It offers a way to make positive personal changes through understanding our feelings, thoughts and behaviours.
It is also a great tool for self-help and personal growth as it encourages active self-reflection to empathically recognise how the past has affected how we see the world around us and our place within it, leading to dysfunction and stuck-ness in our lives.
TA believes that how we communicate and behave towards ourselves and others inadvertently maintains dysfunctional patterns and emotional problems.
In challenging the core beliefs developed in childhood and recognising the reasons for defensive/survival reactions, we can have more available choices for our behaviour, update/change our thoughts and beliefs, process the past and grow.
Ego States and Childhood Complex Trauma
The ego state model shows that we have three ego states which we use to relate to ourselves and other people. We move through into different ego states depending on the situation.
Dysfunction tends to occur when you spend more time acting or reacting from a Parent or Child ego state and less time in the here and now or Adult ego state. They can even disguise themselves and make you think you are acting logically, when they are actually skewing your reality!
To put it simply we internalise parental beliefs, attitudes and behaviours and then make decisions as children about ourselves and how we see the world and other people.
Because you were small and couldn’t escape from them, you had to develop ways to get your needs met and survive uncertainty, neglect and abuse. This may be never asking for help, withdrawing, using anger to control situations, creating drama to get attention, trying to be being perfect or academically excellent, doing things for other people or hiding your feelings.
The Child ego state holds all the past feelings (Somatic child), responses to traumatic experiences and decisions you made about yourself.
While the Parent holds both the positive and negative attitudes, ideas or messages adopted from parent figures and important others. The more dysfunctional your parents the more likely you are to have introjected (taken on) narratives, beliefs and values that limit your life and the way you view the world and relate to others.
The ultimate goal of TA is to strenghthen the Adult ego state to be more present and less 'ruled' by past experiences, thinking styles, and decisions.
Ellie-Ren 6th January 2025
Next: How Awareness of Ego States Can Help You Heal
* While I recommend talking to a therapist, such as a counsellor or psychotherapist, I understand there are situations in which this kind of help is either not accessible or appropriate. These self-help resources are not a replacement for professional help, but can be used either alongside or as a starting point for growth, learning and self-care.
